it feels like a million years has gone by,
not a long bad million years either.
a great million years.
…but its only been a week. barely.
i’m still surprised when i wake up in the morning
and realize that [i’m home.]
we’ll be driving and i’ll be imagining us going to a store
in chicago, and then a landmark will come into
my view + remind me that we’re in michigan.
i still get this feeling throughout the day that i need to pack + leave.
when we leave the apartment, i instinctively want
to ask marty to check google traffic to see what kind of hell we’ll
be driving through to get to wherever it is we’re going.
it’s really made me sit back + ponder the power of habits.
…i do hope these little things linger a bit longer though.
i think this is the first time in my entire life where i finally felt
like everything was as it should be. there’s been an emptiness…
a lacking, that has always existed inside of me.
a feeling of not belonging.
“home” never really feeling quite right.
…everything about my life right now, feels right.
i’ve never been so sure about where i belonged in my whole life.
i love this city + all it symbolizes to me on so many levels.
i love the family + friends we have had here waiting for our return.
i love the new friends we are connecting with.
i love the goals we have created.
i love listening to marty talk about his plans.
i love that he is building us things, and getting back to the old [new] marty.
i love that Bell’s Oberon Opening Day started at midnight last night,
and that having a pint of it this afternoon is my reward for finishing this
blog + some editing.
i love that we drove by the place that we had our first date last night.
i love that something as simple as a street corner
has such a vivid memory attached to it.
i love that we already have remember when‘s,
and that little parts of this city can tell the
story of britt + marty.
…that someday we’ll tell these stories again,
to our kids, grandkids….oh my my my.
…but what i love most about this transition, is how it’s affected my work.
a year ago, i knew i needed to stop fearing the direction
i wanted to take my work. i just couldn’t tap into
it. i was terrified that the new approach
wouldn’t resonate with my people. we’re all creatures of habit,
and i would completely understand if people weren’t sure how to connect.
but i had to do it.
i had to risk losing clients,
i had to risk criticism,
you got it.
they got it.
everyone got it.
grabbed hold of it.
…and i felt ridiculous for ever worrying in the first place.
• • • • • • • •
i thought marty was going to want to kill me all of last week.
i must have been the most aggravating person on earth.
it seemed like every hour, i would say “I AM SO HAPPY!”
i had to. because everytime i tried to keep it
to myself, i felt like i was going to explode.
this is no exaggeration. marty can confirm the insane
amounts of happiness bouts.
…i loved when he would say that he would never tire of me being happy.
[i get to marry this guy someday, I AM SO FRIGGIN’ HAPPY]
like really, i just feel like my heart is so open right now.
i am ready to take these giant scary steps.
i am just ready for it all.
the life changing
whatever it is, i’m ready.
right now i want my focus to
be on bringing my photography to where it belongs.
i just want to keep moving forward,
and i feel like i can finally start doing that.
i shot this video during my layover in Panama City, Panama.
it was a nightmare, but upon further research, i am finding that
this country is actually considered the “Dubai of the America’s.”
i must have been on the wrong side of the airport and town because my experience
was hell. a nightmare. for myself + for my family/friends.
anyhow, i had 4 hours to kill.
so i grabbed a burger + found a corner where i could
just listen to music + think.
i found this quiet hallway.
and all of the sudden, a rush of travelers started to come
i could smell them.
feel their breeze.
and i wondered where they were going +
where they were coming from.
i don’t know what it is…
but i find peace in this little vid.
it’s quickly become one of my favorite creations.
…and now i am positive that i’d like to
put my curiosity of video documentation to use.
i’ll end this by letting y’all know that it’s
opening day for Bell’s Oberon.
marty + i are headed out on a lunch date
to have a couple to mark the beginning
of 2013 spring|summer.
have a wonderful day, beautiful people.