my racing thoughts…

today feels so final.
surrounded by boxes + the biggest mess you’ve ever
seen, we have our last day together in chicago.
i’ve been all over the map emotionally,
but now my stomach is consumed with butterflies…

my mind has been racing with thoughts about
starting over + what it means.
we’ve been gifted with another clean slate.
we get to start over in this familiar place we love.
starting fresh.
starting over.

a part of me feels as though we found ourselves,
but that we also lost our identities a little bit along the way
over the past few years in chicago.
we have this blessing of returning to our
beloved ann arbor, and beginning this brand new chapter.
maybe it’s not even a new chapter,
perhaps a new book entirely.

i have all these visions for myself.
and for marty.
and for us together.
being immersed in the moments that come,
connecting w. friends + family on a new level.
making new friends.
getting involved in the community both personally
and photographically.
starting personal projects.
taking better care of our minds + bodies.
making some serious travel plans.
finding the joy in the simple life we will begin to
make for ourselves again.
i imagine that while this will be the craziest year of my life,
that being home will bring about many feelings of steadiness
and peace of mind. i think getting back home
to marty’s roots is going to do wonders for him too.
without hesitation, he packed up his life and moved here with me.
i’m stoked to get him home to his friends + family who have missed him.

as a matter of fact,
if there is anything in this world that i’m most excited about,
it’s seeing the choices, direction and path that he takes.
he has giant dreams and it’s time for those
dreams to become a reality. a sweet sweet reality.
on his 25th birthday, with our family + friends listening,
i promised him that the next move we made would be
his choice. his dreams. his everything.
i am thrilled beyond measure to see what’s next for him.
blessed beyond measure too, that he still chooses me
to continue on this journey with.
crazy, lunatic, unpredictable me.

so here is my final + quiet goodbye post to
our sweet home, chicago.
to the friends + memories we made.
to a lifelong city dream coming true.
to the opportunities we had,
to the city of big shoulders giving us thick skin,
to life testing us + our relationship and showing us
that we really can make it through anything.
to the incredible clients that BAMphoto gained,
to those perfect chicago summers,
and mostly, for reminding us of all the reasons we
love michigan…
we get to return to the city where we fell in love
and we get to see it with new eyes and new appreciation.
how friggin’ beautiful is that?

on that note,




C + J, i am most grateful to this experience
because through it i found you.
the pieces of my heart with your names on it
is huge. like, GIANT.
you two have seen me through it all.
by my side through everything.
you’re forever friends.
and ever + ever + ever + ever.
you’ve gone where few girls have gone before,
and that’s into my soul.


3 thoughts on “my racing thoughts…

  1. This post left me feeling inspired to go after these things I have in my head about what I’d like to do with my life in the next couple years. I wish the best of luck to you and your boyfriend on this new adventure in this place you have come to love so much. I look forward to seeing what you both do next, I’m sure it will be AMAZEBALLS.


  2. You are one hell of a writer!! This made me tear up. Best of luck to you on your new adventure. May happiness and success follow you everywhere you go! xoxo

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