2012: a year of dreams, butcher knives + being happy with less.

i’ve been writing this blog post for days.
had writers block for  4 hours today.
this is what you get when you go on a writing
hiatus for months at a time and have to play catch up.
so i apologize in advance for it being such
a mess.

// \\

i cannot believe that 2012 is hours away from ending.
a part of me wants to jump up + down for joy, and another
would like some more time to soak it all up and take it all in.

to be completely honest, i don’t even know where to begin…

i feel so incredibly lucky to be alive.
i am broke + trying to find the goodness in the fact that
our NYE dinner is compliments of Aldi.
i have an $8 ham in the oven, a chocolate
pie in the fridge that looks not so edible,
and a $5 bottle of champagne.
but like i said, i am happy to be alive.
i’m in love.
i’m warm.
and i get to ring in the new year with the love of my life!
#winning

so, a little random…but i want to discuss facebook for a minute.
there are too many facebook haters today. i don’t understand them.
i personally think it’s such a gift, and such a wonderful tool that we have.
facebook has built my business in ways that i never could
have imagined. it has helped me to not lose touch with friends
and family who are far away.
and most importantly, it has been a wonderful tool for me to document
this incredible journey that i’m on.
some people resist posting on facebook. why?
or they criticize others for posting.why? if no one posted, what would be the point?
i do think there is some major facebook abusers out there…
you know, those people who post negative crap about their
baby mama drama, or those who use facebook as a platform to hurt others.
or the people who think you want to know that they are sitting in traffic,
hate their job or the people who like to talk about the weather.
but for me personally, i love having this place where i can
document these little fleeting moments in my life.
it also may or may not have something to do with this incredible
fear of forgetting that i have.
…and that fear, is actually what sparked my love for photography.
a little Britt trivia for ya.

i love posting my own life things amongst other people
who inspire me, make me laugh, change my perspective,
people who are in love, people who need to be cheered up,
and people who are just trying to figure out life right along with me.

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i like learning what kind of parent i’d like to be someday.

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or just have a laugh when the day gets long.

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i like being inspired by someone who has mentored me from a distance.

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i know how you feel, bro.

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i like being able to keep up w. my other family from afar.

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i like seeing my clients use photos i’ve taken
& seeing the love they receive about their beautiful family.

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i like seeing two of my favorite artists collaborate.

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i like keeping up with the guy who did my tattoo in san fran.

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i like getting to know my clients before i photograph them,
and vice versa.

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i don’t like that my childhood house is for sale, but
i do like just about everything my dad posts because he is..
well…awesome.

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i love learning to have a more positive outlook on
life thanks to my cousin.

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i love how full of MI football my newsfeed is on gamedays.

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i love that even though this little one is in california,
i still get to watch him grow!

…and then there are things like this,

a complete stranger who inspired
my new business tagline.

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or a way to express mutual respect.

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this is just a few of the little messages via social media that
made 2012 so special…

i could go on and on and on and on.
in regards to my own personal Facebook, like i said..
it’s merely a way for me to document these little
moments that make up my entire life.
i can go back years from now and recall how i felt,
where i was
who i was
what was important to me
who i loved

facebook is about sharing,
and correct me if i’m wrong, but isn’t that one of
first lessons we learn as children? learning to share?

you can discuss how it changes our communication, or how it’s

negatively changing us as people, but really…if you change your perspective

on it, you’d realize that by not using it, you’re just missing out on this

fantastic sharing opportunity.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

when i said earlier in the post that i’d like to have more time to
soak up the year and take it all in, i really meant it.
this has been a huge year for me professionally.
and personally.
2012 is the year that will be home to the first moment
i took a step back + acknowledged the pride i felt about all
that i had accomplished. i was proud.
i felt it.
i said it out loud.
and i tried to hang onto the moment for as long as possible
because i knew that i’d go back to being hard on myself quickly.
i had just got done shooting my first destination wedding mexico.

sp
i was in my hotel room on the balcony
watching the moon reflect over the ocean, and it hit me.
i remember laughing quietly to myself and thinking,

someone hired you to come to mexico and photograph their wedding.
this is your life. this is your dream.

and i laughed again. eyes welling with tears.
i grabbed my phone to text my mom.
i was completely overwhelmed.
i think she was just as shocked to hear me say i was
proud of myself as i was to feel it. and admit it.
it was so wonderful to share that moment with her.

some of you are probably like, “wait, whaaaaaaaaaat?”
i suppose that’s my queue to transition to
the next great part of 2012.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

family.

oh how fickle you’ve been.
i can happily say today, that i am the happiest i’ve ever
been when it comes to my family.
i learned one of the toughest lessons of my life this year,
and that’s forgiveness.
i realized that not forgiving actually hurt me more than it did the other person.
it would consume me completely.
i wouldn’t be able to focus.
it was an emotion that i couldn’t use to fuel my creativity.
it was my real life kryptonite.
it broke me.
but i happily sit here today, typing out this ode to 2012,
and aside from just a couple things, i feel more healed
in my heart + soul than i ever have.
a wonderful relationship between my mom + i has started,
my siblings + i are finding our way back to a great place.

and now, i can finally be completely excited for the future,
because i know i’ll have my family AND friends to share it with.

mom,
thank you for being patient with me.
for giving me the space i needed to get to this place.
for coming back into my life and being the mom i’ve always needed.
for being the right balance of mom + friend.
for knowing what’s best for me, and reminding me when i forget.
for teaching me all your recipes, for calling just to chat,
for accepting me even if i am covered in tattoos,
and most importantly, thank you for never giving
up on me or our relationship. you never stopped fighting,
even when i did.
i love you.

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i’ve got myself another wonderful woman in my life.
she’s been in my life for 20 years.
this is my crazy, goofy, wonderful, unfiltered stepmom.
i never refer to her as that, because she is more than
a stepmom, but for the sake of confusion i’ll use it.

we connect on a very different level than most.
we are spiritually in tune with each other.
she can make sense of the things that confuse me
and my soul would be lost without her.

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told ya she was goofy
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…and of course, there’s my papa bear.
aside from the fact that we are always noticing
how alike we are becoming, we are the same.
he’s my rock.

we did have a really special moment at a wedding
a few weeks ago…

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i can only hope that he knows how lucky
i feel everyday to be his daughter.

god, i’m so grateful to have these three…
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

no more sap damn it!
let’s get to the good stuff!
you know, the resolutions that are impossible to keep…

just kidding, kind of..

i started reading this book,
The Happiness Project awhile ago,
and it immediately began to change my life in many small ways.
it’s opened my eyes to seeing the world in a different way.
to setting goals that are realistic, logical + attainable.
goals that lead to a happier life.
the way she writes the book reminds
me of my approach to this blog. it’s not perfectly eloquent, overdone,
or pushy. as she writes, you feel like you’re listening to her speak.
i recommend it to everyone. if you haven’t been reading it,
you should just click here and order it.
you’re welcome,
in advance.

my goals are simple for 2013.
they are attainable, they are fun, and they have
great potential to change the course of my life.

1. give BAMphoto a website that does the work + people justice.
2. start photographing same sex couples + use the imagery
as a way to fight for their right to marry with them.
3.book more destination weddings.
4. book a wedding in europe
5. go to san francisco
6. do not take on others insecurities + feelings of inadequacy as your own.
7. kiss marty more
8. get my own personal work back into the art world
9. less digital, more film.
10. cook more
11. getting my wedding work seen on a larger platform
12. live my life
13. do a pull up + run a mile with no stopping
14. be more organized
15. be less aggressive
16. wear less makeup
17. save $10,000.
18. attend more michigan football games
19. send more snail mail
20. finish my business plan + start putting it into motion

i have high hopes for 2013.
how could i not? 2012 was such a blessing.
it was extremely difficult,
exhausting
fulfilling
wild
fun
and unforgettable.

i turned 27 this summer, and even though i didn’t like the
sound of it, i quickly realized that life was only getting
more interesting as i got older.

{I’M HAVING THE WORST WRITERS BLOCK EVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA}

screw it.
i’m thinking too damn much.
how about some friggin’ photos?

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i’m going to stop looking backwards, and focus on moving forward.

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i’m going to have a few more of these,
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and do more of this,
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i’m gonna get mah blue hair back,
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and not take his perfect smile for granted.
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i’m going to enjoy the journey to becoming who i was
intended to be,
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and do more of this,
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i’m gonna wear these more often because they are my feel
good shoes, and
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free my mind of negative nonsense.
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i’m going to stop being so forgetful,
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and remember this when shit hits the fan.
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i’ll remember this too.
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alright alright, and this too

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i want to cuddle more,
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and bring this idea to life….
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i want to shoot the majority of my work in detroit in 2013,
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and get my last + final tattoo
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i want to rock out a little more,
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and eliminate cheeseburgers from diet.
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i’d like to stop being so scared of getting murdered,
or maybe i should stop watching law + order….
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i’m gonna wear these all summer.
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and i’ll remember to revel in these types of moments.
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i want more sleepovers with my peanut,
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and to visit them more,
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and take better care of my skin even though
i hate this part of being a girl.
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i want to ban marty from feeding the cats,
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and eat more BBQ.
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i want to enjoy nothingness,
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and remember to stop and smell the roses
{yeah, these aren’t roses, i know.}
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i want to go on more dates with my dad,
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and give myself some more free time to play.
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i want to be naked + happy more,

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and spend less time crying in the shower over things
i cannot control.
2012-11-22_1353545137i want more of her in my life in 2013,
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and i want to love on them some more,
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i want to watch more sunsets,
2012-11-20_1353377634and start dreaming up our future home.
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i want to be the aunt she deserves, even when she’s being a brat…
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and be the sister they deserve too.
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i want to remember that this is my journey,
my destination, and my dream…no one can take that from me.
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i want to wear oversized sweaters everyday,
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and start my peephole project,
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i want to go on more road trips with these two,
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and do more fashion photography.
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i want to eat so many green beans that i turn into one,
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and i want to laugh with her some more.
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i want to be as good of a friend to her as she has to me,
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and lastly,
i want to learn to be happy with less.
marty and i are going into the new year broke AS HELL.
i spent all of yesterday stressing about it.
what a waste.
we have more than we’d ever need.
everything else is just a bonus.
right?

indeed.

to the people i love,
i wish you a happy, prosperous, joyful
and exciting new year!
may this year bring you good health + love…

and may all the newly engaged folks HOLLA at me
for photos!

…and to you 2013,
hang onto your knickers, because this is my year.

xo,

britt

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One thought on “2012: a year of dreams, butcher knives + being happy with less.

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