i like to bathe in the moonlight, not your bullshit.

to be perfectly honest, the past week has been
a semi irritable one.
maybe it’s just me. maybe i’m just far more
sensitive to stupid than i usually am…

if it hasn’t been something like this:
{we’ll be coming back to this momentarily}

…then it’s something like  the Smith Sisters being
mean to each other on Facebook.
Grown women.
Sisters.
Fighting.
On Facebook.

Your children are on Facebook, is this the kind of example
you’re trying to set?
In 27 years, I have never known a time when these four women
weren’t fighting. Their entire lives are one big competition
with each other and it gets more out of hand every single day.

It’s no surprise to anyone who knows me that family is
not necessarily my favorite thing in the world.
In fact, as much as I want to love my family the way I want to,
I can’t. They simply make it impossible.

{things are about to get real}

i associate distress, aggravation, fighting,
drama, sickness, and negativity with family.
i hate it.
this doesn’t apply to everyone.
nor do i feel this way all the time.
but i sure as hell don’t associate fun, love,
bonding, sharing, caring, etc.

i think half of this ridiculous baby fever i am feeling
these days is stemmed directly from wanting
to have my own family that’s respectful.
that cares rather than competes.
that loves unconditionally.
that supports.
that doesn’t hurt one another.
that doesn’t judge.
..but really, having children frightens me.
will this pattern continue even though i am aware?
can it be stopped?
…so help me if my children ever share these feelings.
i couldn’t take it.

my family circle keeps getting smaller and smaller.
and that’s my fault. because i keep shutting people out.
but can you blame me?

this both angers and completely saddens me.
it’s not fair.
it’s embarrassing.

i’m so disconnected from family that perhaps
this post {which has probably already caused a
war} can serve to keep them from fighting with
each other while they all bitch about me instead.
…at least for awhile.
until they find something else to be pissed about.

set better examples for the kids in this family.
some of you are so Christian, and a child of God,  yet you
judge, disrespect, and hurt your family members.
…you’re embarrassing yourselves & the rest of us, please stop.

#notcool
#thisisnotwhatjesuswoulddo

………………………………………

Back to this internet thing i saw last night on Facebook.


did someone just try to defend texting and driving?
About 6,000 deaths and a half a million injuries
are caused by distracted drivers every year.
I can’t even deny my own personal guilt of texting and driving,
but i’ll tell you what, i’ve had the crap scared out of me
a time or two and i certainly don’t think that making it illegal
is ridiculous by any means.

Think about it…
if you get a ticket for texting and driving, how did they know?
were you swerving?
were you in two lanes?
did you crash into a ditch?
did you rear end someone?
were you visibly looking down into your lap while moving?

i rest my case.
…………………………………………..

i spent a couple hours on the patio last night.
it was the best couple hours i’ve had in forever.
thinking. listening. following the moon.
loving the moon.
i was overwhelmed by the moonlight that i was bathing in.
it was so bright. and it welcomed my thoughts happily.
guarded my thoughts.
i was sad last night. really sad.
something sad happened that i’m not quite ready to share.
but i needed the time with the moon to sort it out.

so of course i Instagram-ed the moon.
i tagged it properly with #moonlight.

and then i felt something i can’t quite explain…

if you tag your photo, it gets sent into a folder
where other people’s #moonlight photos go.

…so i watched. and refreshed the page every second for a few minutes.
i was curious about how many people were staring
and loving the moon with me.
yeah, it’s weird. but i think it’s cool.
the way we are connected to strangers around the world is
absolutely fascinating.


i posted my photo at 10:50pm and within that same
minute, 9 others did too. and they were coming from all over.
technology has it downsides, but this is amazeballs.

…………………………………

i did a session the other day with a high school senior.
she complimented my hair and i apologized for it
because it was a hot mess! and she follows it up with….

“…i’ve never seen something like that before.”

it was a topsy-tail.
she says, “a what?”
i say, “a topsy-tail!”

she’d never heard of that.
it’s happening….
the stuff we love is becoming an “oldie.”
shit.
………………………………..

i’ve got this addiction to power line photographs.
obviously the lines are an instant attraction.
but there is something else there, i just haven’t figured
out what it is just yet.
…but i am certainly enjoying trying to figure it out.


………………………………..

this little peanut,
she gets cooler every single day. she’s saying things
that are beginning to make sense.
and she’s giving hugs that knock you to the ground
and that gives me the happiest heart.

……………………………….

Heidi is alive and getting better.
she needs to have all of her teeth extracted for 100%
recovery, but for right now she is on kitty morphine to keep
her comfortable until we have enough money to do the
ridiculously expensive surgery.
…and because of the meds, she’s turned into
kind of a creeper cat.
she sits.
she stares.
it’s weird.
………………………………..

that’s all folks.
lata.

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