Dear Lauren,

Today is the 14th anniversary for me & my best friend Lauren.
How we figured this out, was going back through all of our
notes through Junior High and seeing when the earliest one was
where we ended the note with BFFL {best friends for life}
and January 10th was the day.
Today, I’m saddened because as time goes on you realize
that even the best of friendships change or disappear completely.
Lo & I were attached at the hip, even when I moved to Michigan.
Coming back to Chicago was the topic of every conversation
during the 8 years I was gone.
I’ve been back for 2 years, and I can count on
both of my hands how many times I’ve seen her.
We had one fight in our entire friendship.
We got past it, but we’ve never fully recovered.
A couple years ago her boyfriend & I went through a
phase of despising one another.
It put so much strain on our friendship, and still today we haven’t
completely moved on.
It’s the elephant in the room over dinner.
It’s the awkward silences that we experience in-between conversations.
The craziest part [I think] is that we didn’t know how to fight when
we started fighting. The problem with this, was that once we started
fighting, we had no clue how to stop either.
We were so good, for so many years.

I’m no stranger to outgrowing friends.
I realized this early in life, and learned to just go with it.
You meet people that change your direction & perspective.
Not every friend you make is forever.
Some people come into your life to change you, and then you both move on.
I’ve had plenty of friends that at some point we just go our own
ways and that’s just it.
Lo is the only one, where we have gone in different directions
but I’m not okay with just letting it go.
I’m okay with us being different, growing up, having our own
adult lives, but I’m not okay with the lack of time we spend together.
I’m not okay with roles we now play in each others lives.
I miss her.

So this is me, doing what I think we should have done a long time ago…

Dear LoLo,

I miss you.
I want our friendship to go back to the way it was.
I want to call you everyday.
Okay, maybe not everyday…but at least once a week?
I want us to grow old together.
Remember those vacations with our kids we’re supposed to take?
Marty & Sean are supposed to be buds so that they can keep each
other going when we drive them absolutely crazy in 15 years.
I want us to go on dates.
& double dates.
I want their to be anything BUT an elephant in the room when we’re together.
I want us to remember that we can talk to each other about
I want us to trust that no matter what happens, we know
we’ll always forgive & love each other.
I want us to remember that we’ve grown into our
own person, but that we’re still a huge chunk of who that is.
I need you in my life.
There is no question about it. In fact, it’s one of the few
things that I have ZERO doubt about.
I want to celebrate all of our accomplishments together.
I want to get back to the new version of the old us.
I still want us to go to New York together, because I still haven’t been.
I’m sorry for my part of where we went wrong.
I overstepped. I just wanted you to be happy, and it was not my place
to decide what would do that for you…and it turns out, I was wrong!
{you know I hate being wrong!}
But I’m glad I was, because that night we had dinner
this summer (where we got tortured by children outside!) I realized
how wrong I was. You are happy, and that’s all that ever mattered to me.
I take my job as someone’s best friend very seriously,
and sometimes I get caught up in moments.
I still love you like a sister,
I always will.

I rummaged through some accessible boxes of photos today
looking for some pictures of us from when we were little…
I think its to our benefit that those were not as accessible as
these bad boys….

No one wants to see pictures of us with braces & pimples, right?

Do you remember that awesome photobooth
in the McDonald’s at Oakbrook Mall?

My first time on Raging Bull @ Six Flags.
You’ve always had way more guts than me.

One of our first legally 21 nights out together!

We have to keep making these memories.
Life just won’t be right if we aren’t
headbanging our way at formal weddings in parking lots.
Or eating so much Fontano’s we explode.

Or RECORDING THIS ONTO A VHS TAPE so we could watch it
a thousand times at all of our sleepovers!

I love you to pieces, Lo.
Let’s have dinner next week and put it all out on
the table so we can move on, once & for all
and go back to being Britt & Lo.

Happy 14th Anniversary to us!


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