“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.”

This quote couldn’t have been given to me
at a better time.
I’ve been feeling so uninspired lately.
Which is the worst feeling in the world.
I put everything I had into my last project and I
just feel drained.
I have an idea of a possible project, but
of course it’ll be something so completely
emotionally draining as well.
Sometimes I wonder what my work would
be if I hadn’t had the kind of life I’ve had.
I probably wouldn’t be in art school.
I probably would have stayed on my law school path.
Sometimes I wish I had.
…And then I am quickly reminded of the 2 years
I spent sleeping in class because pre-law classes
weren’t nearly as interesting as Law & Order episodes.
Lawyer, not so much.
I don’t have the body for pencil skirts, blouses
and blazers…or the proper
attention span for monotone professors.
I’m reminded by the feeling I get
when I create something that
feels so good that art school is where I belong.
As brookey would tell me, “I’ll suck it up”
because it will all be worth it eventually.
I think I’d enjoy the lawyer paycheck more though.
I suppose I will wear Struggling Artist with pride
for now.
……………………………………….

So I buried myself under a million things
to do this month.
Correction: This week.
I know that I do my best work when I am under
the pressure of deadlines, but damn.
I think I gave myself 10 too many things to do.
I MUST GET 2 OFF THE LIST TONIGHT.
I will rest in April.
…………………………………..
I looked up army/air force/navy photography jobs
today. I like to keep my options open.
I’m sure no one in my life would be thrilled
about this happening, but hey…
Could be dangerously interesting.
…………………………
I’ve been working on some photos
that I marked as garbage and have learned
that sometimes you need to put them in a
folder and forget about them for awhile before
you can appreciate their beauty
or even remember why you took it to
begin with.
I’m strangely attracted to different
sources of light that I find randomly
all over the city.
streetlights.
sunlight.
moonlight.
Any kind of light.
i love it.
Without light, photography does not exist.
I have officially become obsessed with the
very thing that brings my passion to life.

Dearborn Street was crazy busy this night.
It was the night the Blackhawks
won the Stanley Cup.
For two hours there was mayhem
in the streets. Convertibles were down,
people were screaming their faces off.
Horns honking for 2 straight hours.
It was surreal to be in the heart of
one of the busiest Chicago neighborhoods
on this night. Of course, I had to
document, and in my own way.
No traffic heading North….
everyone was heading to Division Street
to the 5am bars.
God, I love this city.

I was photographing my brother’s car this night, and was
fascinated by how this streetlamp illuminated
the tree and it’s summer green-ness, which
I am longing for so badly these days…
Can’t decide if that handicap sign is
a distraction or not.
I think I’ll end up getting rid of it.
Or not.
Probably my 2nd favorite moment(s)
with my oldest brother.
Just him & I, wee hours of the night,
with our cameras and tripods…
Oh, the days of summer.
……………………………….
I think that’s enough for today, yes?

PS:
Ohio State University fans are
such suckers.
Go Blue.

Ciao.

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