I am overwhelmed…..
In the most amazing, positive way I could ever imagine (at this point!)
I have felt so much pressure to find my voice in my work and figure out what I am trying to say with what I produce in my photography…
And all along, I have been overlooking what really has been there my entire life.
Smack dab in the middle of an ordinary day, it hit me.
There wasn’t enough paper in my backpack to contain everything I wanted to
remember and jot down. (Thank God for the notepad app in my blackberry)
I did some recent work which has been posted in a few different places
and although it is just a small part of what I’d like to encompass,
I like what it provoked.
Generally, I get lots of feedback on my work….
and with the exception of a few, there was silence.
And I love that.
Whether it was due to feeling uncomfortable for whatever reason, or just
because people were shocked at how different the look was compared to what I usually do…
The silence said more than any amount of feedback could.
I had to get out of the rut. I had to get outside of my normal box,
and just with 4 photos, I feel like I’ve at least begun to accomplish this.
I prefer to be behind the camera at all times. I have
horrible self image issues and I had to fight myself to push that
to the back and focus on the emotions I was trying to express through the photos.
I haven’t even begun to touch on what it is that I am going to do next…
It’s scary. It has the potential to invoke many things…good & bad.
And not just with the viewer…with me. Which is the scary part.
I’m eager to start pushing the limits and challenging myself.
Really challenging myself.
Things have been a M E S S!
Finances have been kicking my butt.
I literally asked Marty the other day “So..what day do we have to starve until?”
That’s how broke we are.
And I love it. Hmmm, don’t get that twisted…it sucks, but it really does
put us in check, and make us stronger together.
We learn something new with every struggle we face.
That’s what I love.
We get over a bad hump, and we literally come out of it as completely
different people. Better people.
Photography side jobs are coming in often, and that makes me feel
so damn good. To know that I am producing work that people
want for their own families.
I don’t think people have any idea how important that is for
someone whose livelihood is based on something artistic.
All in all, life is peachy. Time is flying by…November is a week away!
We’re having the most beautiful fall weather, but I can smell it in the air that
we’re going to get winter soon. Real soon.
My fingers are cold just thinking about the Chicago wind chill…